Copy cat burgers and strange conversations

I follow Iowa Girl Eats and her recipes have started making it into my rotations pretty frequently.  I don’t cook all that much these days, so when I say I made two of her recipes in the last month, that’s heavy rotation.  Around 5pm or so I saw her post on some chili lime burgers she made based on a Trader Joe’s burger and I thought I had enough ingredients on hand to riff something like that and dinner was decided!

::photo from Iowa Girl Eats blog::

 

I had ground turkey instead of ground chicken.  I didn’t have cilantro and it would have been cooler if it did.  Otherwise, I followed her recipe pretty close and it was delicious!

photo by me!

I even made the asparagus-tomato side dish.  Yummy!  Thanks Iowa Girl Eats!  Click on this link for her complete recipe.

Meanwhile, I was working in one of our grocery stores today when one of the assistant managers asked if she could ask me a personal question.  I said sure, braced myself, and then all she asked is if I was married.  That was an easy one.  I replied no, that I had been at one time, but not any longer.  Then she and another store manager spent a solid 10 minutes telling me all the reasons they wish they weren’t married and that if they had to do it all over they would do it completely different.  How all they want in the world is to come home and have some alone time.  That they are so tired of taking care of other people.  That they resent the people who ask them for help.  Granted, one of them had some tough stories, a disabled husband and son that needed a lot of care.  And she did it.  And she was miserable doing it.

Yikes.  Just a classic case of the grass is always greener, I suppose.  I miss taking care of someone.  I want there to be someone at the end of the day.  Someone to spend 42 years with, or 12 years with.  Do I think a lifetime with someone works?  I sure don’t know.  I find that coming home to two cats wonderful sometimes.  And sometimes it leads to patterns of enabled laziness.  I was obsessed with the movie Shall We Dance for a while and there’s a scene where Richard Jenkins and Susan Sarandon are talking about why people get married.  They say, “we need a witness to our life.”  I agree.  If there’s no one to see it – does it happen?

There are moments that are so great alone.  But I believe they are better with a witness.  I’ll never forget this one night where I was still married, but ex husband was traveling all the time.  I was working through all the seasons of Grey’s Anatomy like a fiend.  The farmer’s market had started and it must have been early because asparagus was in season.  I found out how to “borrow” television shows from the internet and had downloaded the rest of Season 4 because I couldn’t wait for it to come out on dvd.  Which means I had to watch the shows from the computer room because we didn’t have all the internet on tv stuff that I do today.  I also had the MOST uncomfortable office chair.  Picture it…I had a few drinks, decided to make an asparagus/rosemary/goat cheese tart for dinner and then a strawberry vanilla custard tart for dessert.  I do this and then decide, in a mostly intoxicated state, to drag a living room arm chair into the office so I can settle in and be more comfortable while I eat and watch my show.  If you could have seen me drag this chair around the corners of the hallway and office door.  This is one of my most ridiculous nights.  I laugh and laugh and laugh at myself when I think about it.  And there wasn’t anyone to witness it.  Is it as funny as I think if there’s no one there to witness it?  Those are the nights I think I’m so innovative and funny and easy to love.  And there was no one there to see it.  Even writing this story – it isn’t funny!  You really had to be there.

When I told my grandparents I was going to get married, my grandmother told me to proceed with caution.  She thought I was too young.  Grandpa, on the other hand, told me I could still do things that I would have done single – but now I’d have a partner.  And things were better with a partner.  I’m with Grandpa on this.  Love should give you wings, like they say Red Bull does.  I don’t know, I’ve never had any.

Red Bull, that is.  Not love.