Category Archives: running

Grad School May edition

Posted by sarah3030 in friends, Grad School, growth, Happy, running

New semester.  New professor.  New self awareness (although not as much self awareness as last semester, for which I’m grateful.  I didn’t sign up for grad school for all the hippy dippy stuff). New memories made with some of my favorite classmates. 

Dr. McFillen is the new professor and he is much more my style than last semester’s teacher.  He did a lot of lecturing (which wasn’t for everyone) and used relevant videos to support the theories presented.  We talked about organization structure and strategy, focused on the global environment and used manufacturing and the auto industry as most of our themes.  We watched a PBS program called America Revealed on manufacturing in America. 

Editor’s Note: Public opinion would have you believe you don’t make anything in the US any longer.  Check out the program America Revealed at PBS.org and find the episode about manufacturing.  We make quite a bit.  End note.

All the talk about manufacturing and global economies led to a minor crisis of conscience.  The world produces a lot of crap.  Walk into any dollar store and look at all of the nonsense that is being peddled.  Sigh.  The resources used to produce that and the energy wasted and the money spent…I understand people need jobs, but could we find a way to create better service or agriculture jobs with that money and energy?  And then I think about all the junk in my house and I just want to have the most incredible purge.  Where and how to begin getting rid of all the little nonsense stuff in my house?!  And then to stop putting money into the junk.  Money should go into education, food, and experiences.  For me, anyway.  Just my thoughts.  I don’t think I want to be an active part of an overacheiving/overproducing/overconsuming society.  Ok.  {urgh. climbing off soapbox.}

Other highlights of the weekend include:

  • A little professor crush on Dr. McFillen is the source of much delight to my cohorts.  It all started with my professor crush on Gary Loveman, who is the CEO of Caesar’s Entertainment.  My group got a kick out of the fact that I love him.  When they finally saw a photo of him, they were surprised at the dowdiness of him.  I don’t care – he’s smart and has a sharp sense of humor.  Dr. McFillen is not an attractive man.  But he was funny!  And he lectured!  And he giggled at his own stories! 
  • I want to use the word derivative more.  I think it sounds like I know what I’m talking about. 
  • I don’t think I know what the word miopic means.  Must look up. 
  • A little positive male attention never hurts anyone.  Nothing inappropriate, but one of my male classmates was asking Amber about our run and he followed up by asking me about the running I’ve done in general.  He told me I looked great – that it was clear I was getting healthier.  Big high five to this guy.  The scale and I have been mad at each other – as the numbers are not moving the way I’d like them to.  But I can tell my body is changing in some ways.  I think there was a whole package of changes he may have been noticing.  I straightened my hair, I’m starting to open up more around everyone and have fun and I had a cute sundress on for class Saturday.  To add icing to the cake (or whipped cream to the sundae, whichever you prefer) another classmate commented on my divorce saying, "any guy who leaves Sarah is an idiot."  Awwww.   I mean, it’s not entirely true, I’m all fun and games until you’re in a relationship with me, but that didn’t matter here.  All that mattered here is that there are people who see me how I am trying harder to be seen.  Win.
  • New semester stuff.  We have two classes a semester and there is a divide in the middle where we officially switch.  This semester, 2nd class professor came in to tell us not to wait until mid semester to start working on his stuff.  He’s kind of a spazzy guy who creates a lot of anxiety, only to so far have been proven very disorganized.  We shall see.

So, that’s the highlights.  Lots of good learning.  Lots of "norming" with the cohorts.  Lots of delayed flights coming home.  It was a great weekend.  Now, to get started on the mountain of work!Tags: , , , ,

Emotions. Feel them. Do not eat them.

Posted by sarah3030 in food, friends, Grad School, growth, heavy, running and tagged with , , , ,

Drinking them, that’s okay, though.

It’s a grad school weekend.  They’re always a little intense, in a good way.  We’re fitting 4 weeks of classes into 3 days, weeks of class bonding and team projects into a short time and then there’s the letting loose and the blowing off the steam.

Tonight’s post is short.  Mostly because I’m just a tad bit tipsy and a lot tired from a long night.

Some of my EMOD colleagues.

I’ve been keeping a list of things I want to brain dump after the weekend.  For tonight I simply want to say:

I ran this morning – keeping up with that even though I’m at school.  Whoo!!

Amber and I after our run. She was so kind to get up early with me.

I had dinner with one of my dearest friends from Harrah’s days.  It’s so fortunate for me that she is here and I can see her semi-regularly.

I decided, after much deliberation, to meet some classmates for drinks after dinner.  I thought they would be done by 7:30 and a few of us were going to get together to do homework.  That didn’t happen.  They were still at the bar.  Sometimes I don’t like seeing people socially because I think it will change my perception of them in a work/school environment.  I hedged my bets and went to meet them.  I’m glad to report that the professor who had joined them had already left by the time I got there.  I am not up for that socializing quite yet.  This particular professor makes me a little anxious right now.  Most of my favorite classmates were there, and I’m SO glad I joined them.  We laughed and laughed and got to know each other better and among the 7 of us there were at least that many conversations going on at any one time.  Drinks were had, I believe a round or two of shots were ordered, pictures were taken, backgrounds were shared, personal stories were relayed, insecurities revealed, dirty jokes were out there and there was more laughing.  I think attending humanized me with some of them.  We’ve been together 4 months now and our reputations are falling into place.  I’m thrilled to report mine is the smart, studious girl.  I think it’s because I reference a lot of books.  I like to read.  And I really want to do well in this program.  It was good they saw me as a little bit of fun tonight also.  I can hang with the drinking and dirty jokes and still be a smarty pants lady.

A few of us hung out in the hotel lobby for a while and kept chatting.  Conversation turned heavier.  Parents came up.  I missed my dad a ton during the conversation.  My very first reaction to being sad?  I should see who will deliver me a pizza!!  Seriously, it was immediate.  I clearly have a “girl who eats her feelings” problem.  I worked through it.  Stayed strong.  Distracted myself.  Did NOT order a pizza.  Am aware of how fast and furious the desire to feed my feelings came upon me.  Yikes.

Glad I resisted.  I want to feel stronger and in control.  Not like such a victim in my own life.  It was a step.  I was aware.  I fought back.

Now I’m off to bed.  One more intense day then a grad school weekend recap.

Goodnight.

Tubthumpin’

Posted by sarah3030 in My story continues, The job., growth, work, running and tagged with , , , , ,

“I get knocked down

But I get up again

You’re never going to keep me down”

I got some disappointing news today.  I had interviewed for a new position at my company several weeks ago.  It was a project manager position under the Director of Organization Development.  Could that be any more perfect?  Well, I didn’t get it.

I was sad.  I had been hopeful and optimistic.  It was such a great opportunity to move into the field I’m studying, have more of a mentor as a boss and, selfishly, get a more regular schedule.

I didn’t get much done at work after getting that news.  I was bummed.  I left work a half hour early.  I came home to run and shake it off.  And shake it off I am.

I treated myself – with flowers!  The gentlemen at Botanicals Design Studio were so kind when I told them I was looking for a bouquet to cheer me up.  They put together some colorful flowers and wished me a better week.

Pretty (and tall!) flowers

Then I went for a run.  I laced up the shoes and went to the park.  I tried not to focus on the running and focused instead of all the things I have to be grateful for instead.  I don’t want to get bitter and resentful.  So, I thought about the beautiful weather, the furry cats, the girlfriends you can talk dirty with and the friend you can tell everything to, the opportunities to help someone else out, still being employed and having the ability to focus more on school and running.

The universe is telling me I’m on the right track.  I got three emails from friends or colleagues thanking me for something or other.  I’m not so bad, after all!  I sent the most belated Christmas present ever to my friend Cyndi and she was so happy with it – yay!  I sent a recommendation/introduction email to a woman I used to work with on behalf of a former colleague who is interested in a position with her company and that friend was so grateful.  I also wrote a recommendation letter on LinkedIn for a woman who used to call on me when I was the training manager at the casino and she sent me a note of thanks.  It was nice to come home to those notes.  Put good in the world, get good back.

Also after my run, I was thirsty.  I opened my fridge, which was weird because I don’t keep a lot of beverages in my fridge.  I forgot I had some Coconut Water in there that I bought on a whim at the store last weekend.  Seemed like the perfect post run drink while I made dinner.  The package declares that it’s the ideal hydration beverage.  I took one sip and I made a face.  It was not good.  I took another.  It still wasn’t good.  This surprised me.  I love coconut.  I did not like this coconut water.

Sorry, Vita Coco. Not for me.

I’ll use the rest in my smoothies this week.  Perhaps that will help mask the taste of it.  I did make a smoothie dessert (sans coconut water tonight).  Tonight’s smoothie was a banana, almond milk, 2 T of peanut butter, 1 T of cocoa powder and a sprinkling of cocoa nibs.  Add ice and blend!  Super good!

And to top off my feel better night was the season finale of How I Met Your Mother!  There were two episodes tonight and wooooo!  SPOILERS AHEAD!

I love you, Ted Mosby!  I love the girl from the past who returned, I love the decision they made at the end and I can’t wait to see what happens.  I’m slightly confused by the image of Robin at the end.  I’m thrilled for Barney and Quinn, so I’ll be sad if that doesn’t work out.  But mostly, Ted Mosby, go get her!  And if it doesn’t work out – come and get me!

Seriously – don’t you remember how great they were! They were great together. So fun. I want this to work!

Running Outside

Posted by sarah3030 in baking; food, blogging, running and tagged with , , , ,

Team in Training is officially kicked off.  Launch party was last Thursday and first group run is scheduled for the 12th!  I’m running to prepare to run in front of other people.  I think it’s like cleaning your house for the housekeeper.  Running outside at 8am when there’s 90% humidity is an experience.  An experience that will motivate me to get up at 6am next time.

I’m going to keep blog posts about TNT shorter – I’ll occasionally provide a recap here – or do what I’m doing today – and that is shoot you over to my blog on the TNT site.  I’d like to keep the running posts together, and perhaps, if you don’t give a rats patootie about the running and you’re here looking for cake, you won’t have to wade through those.

So, for running/Team in Training/ Half Marathon training posts – go here.

But let’s face it, I’m really running so I can keep eating cake.

Like the smitten kitchen strawberry cake I plan on making later tonight.  With fresh farmer’s market strawberries.  I made this a couple of summers ago and it was fantastic.  Also, strawberries have a special place in my photographer’s heart.  They were some of the first subjects when I got my fancy pants DSLR camera.

I was so proud of my first photos!

Instant art. For food nerds like me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enjoy your day!

Random Thursday

Posted by sarah3030 in Grad School, random, running, work and tagged with , , , ,

1. There is one guy downstairs at the coffee shop who never charges me for coffee.  This morning I went to get an iced coffee after my run and sure enough, no charge.  This always makes me happy.  And not because I’m getting free coffee, I take the dollar and change I would have spent and put it in their tip jar.  I just like that he does this.  He always says it’s the pay off for having to deal with the loud music nights they have on Fridays and Saturdays.  I’ve told him I’m not all that bothered by it.  Oh well.  Ahhh, iced coffee.

2. Yes, I went for a run!  This morning!  I’m getting up and doing it.  I continue to be so motivated for 1/2 marathon training with Team in Training.  

3.  On my run this morning…I wore a running skirt!  I know!  I said I wouldn’t buy one until I had dropped a bit of weight, but then I didn’t want to wait.  I want to have fun running in a skirt.  And I did.

4.  Actually, this morning was kind of a tough run.  I’ve been laying off alcohol lately because I know I make bad food choices after a drink or two.  Last night though, I had two pretty strong vodka tonics with lime.  Yum.  Running post two strong vodka tonics with lime – ugh.  I ran slower than my last run, but never stopped.

5.  The reason I splurged on two pretty strong vodka tonics with lime (yum)?  Because I had to deal with a gentleman who showed up intoxicated to work.  It made for a stressful day.  So, I thought, an eye for an eye – or drink for a drink?  Deal with a guy who drinks too much at work, go home and have a drink.

6. In addition to the drinks, I made homemade pico de gallo for dinner.  And that’s all I had for dinner.  1/2 an onion, 3 tomatoes, 1/2 jalapeno, lime juice, garlic and cilantro.  Plus a boatload of chips.  Dinner.  I do not regret my choice.  I sat outside with my drink (yum), my salsa and the latest Self Magazine.  It was a nice way to distane myself from the ridiculousness of dealing with a grown man who doesn’t know how to be professional.

7. I already have my group for this semester’s first project!  Woohoo!  I was pretty ahead of the game, as soon as I saw the new syllabus I emailed two classmates that I really wanted to work with and they were game to join me and we’ve already picked our topic and started dividing up work.  VERY exciting.  We picked the company Target to research throughout the semester.  I’m sure this means I’ll need to do some in depth consumer research….  :)

8. This weekend is Cinco de Mayo!!  I don’t know why I don’t celebrate this day more…I LOVE Mexican food.  (See last nights dinner.)  I think I will declare that next year I am having a Cinco de Mayo party.  You may all come.  Consider this the save the date.

I have got to stop reading brain books

Posted by sarah3030 in Crazy., random, running and tagged with , , ,

My job offers this fantastic book on cd program for free to corporate employees.  I jumped on this perk and the first book I received was Brain Rules by John Medina.  I loved it!  I had an epiphany while listening that helped me determine a long term goal of opening a school based in this book’s research and hypothesis’.  (Theories?)  I’m going to call it Sarah’s Hippie Brain Rules School.  Which Gentleman Friend tells me should really just be a working title.

This book inspired me to get more exercise, more sleep, and use visual images to get my point across better in presentations.  I feel great about what I took away from this book.

This led me to buy a book called ….well, honestly I can’t even remember.  I bought it in a bookstore while in Bowling Green and I’ve only read the first two chapters.  Clearly it is not grabbing me from the get go.  But it’s a book on brains and creativity.  I think.

Then my next book on cd arrived, called Change your brain, change your life.   This book and I are not doing so well.  It’s much more technical and is describing certain parts of the brain such as the deep limbic system, basal ganglia, pre frontal cortex and cingulate gyrus.  Each section is responsible for certain behaviors & feelings and each section can be broken.  One section controls anger, one for inability to focus, one for holding grudges, one for automatic negative thoughts, one for flexibility, etc.  After each section I conclude that section of my brain is in hyperdrive or not keeping up.  Can it be possible that my entire brain is broken?  Probably not.  I’m taking away a few things, such as talking back to the automatic negative thoughts that creep in and dominate my life.  Responding out loud will allow me to hear the difference between rational and ridiculous thoughts.  Don’t create more drama just so I stay interested in a topic (which is an ADD tactic – because I’ve decided that I probably have a broken brain and ADD, naturally).

In between all the brain books I have found time to read the Hunger Games trilogy.  It took me all of 5 days which included staying up until wee hours of the morning during a 10 day straight working cycle.  It was so worth it.  I just saw the movie this past weekend.  I thought the movie was just fine.  I’m a little sad more wasn’t made of the symbolic-ness of the mockingjay pin and how Katniss received it in the book.  Oh well.  Overall, good stuff and I’m looking forward to the next movies.  I did not think I’d like books when I heard the premise, but they were really riveting.  Apparently there is a Japanese story these were inspired by, I’ll be looking into finding that next.

In other news, I’m in the middle of another 10 day straight work cycle.  This isn’t all bad, because it means a 4 1/2 day weekend coming my way!  On the agenda – Spring Cleaning!!  I’m such a messy person that I require giant chunks of time to tackle my place.  I may even call in help.  Like my mom.  If I offer to pay her I think she’ll come down.

Also, my official running training calendar begins today.  6 months, friends.  13.1 miles in 6 months.  It can be done.  And when my broken brain tells me it can’t, I will talk back to it!  Which may get some looks at the Y, but I’m okay with that.  I’m a woman on a mission.

Team in Training

Posted by sarah3030 in running, Sarah, work it out and tagged with ,

I’ll run because I can.

When my classmate told me about Team in Training I just knew it was a right time, right place, right organization moment.

I want to finish what I set out to do and I like the accountability this program will give me.  Even better, I like that there’s a higher purpose than just accessorizing, which was pretty much my goal with the Disney Princess 1/2 marathon plan.  In order to be a part of Team in Training you have to raise money, and not an insignificant amount.  For me, the goal is $2000.

I’m proud of the work the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) does with the money raised.  This program really does benefit me, the runner, and the LLS.  I’ll get running coaches and work outs designed for me and join the Team in Training group at the Rock ‘n’ Roll 1/2 marathon in October as a participant.  They’ll get money raised.  75% of all funds raised go directly to their mission of providing benefits and research.  The St. Louis chapter alone:

  • contributed $133,800 in financial aid to patients
  • Provided co-pay assistance of $805,168
  • Served over 5000 patients and families with financial support, education and support groups
  • Provided school curriculum/orientation for children transitioning back to the classroom in over 530 schools

I have some fun fundraising ideas – of course I’ll share them and their results here.

I encourage you to visit my fundraising page.  I’ll update it regularly also.  If you’re in a position to donate, that will always be welcome.  If you have a company that matches donations, please think about going to your HR office and filling out that paperwork.

I’m really looking forward to this process and creating a team environment within the larger Team in Training group. I want to keep those who donate involved.  If there is someone a donor has lost due to cancer of any kind, if they want to share that with me and donate in honor of them, I’ll add them to my list of who I’m running for.  Any and all cheering squad members are invited out to the marathon in October as well.

school – check. work – check. running…here we go.

Posted by sarah3030 in Grad School, running, work and tagged with ,

Remember my three part plan for 2012?

School – Going well.  I’ve chronicled some of my challenges and breakthroughs in this last semester and I’m thrilled to say I’m ending the first semester with A’s in both classes.  Well, perhaps that premature, my final for one class still hasn’t been graded.

Work – A pretty exciting development has happened on this front, actually.  There is a position that opened as special projects manager under the Director of Organization Development.  What’s that, my master’s program is in Organization Development??  Oh, why, yes it it!  I have an interview on Wednesday.  I’m trying to maintain reasonable expectations.  This job would be so great.  I would really feel like things are on the right path when it comes to work and a career.

Running.  My fickle relationship with running.  My long standing runner goals.  Well, it was time to put my feet where my mouth was.  A classmate recommended I look into Team in Training.  You get a running group, running goals, running coaches and you raise money for the  Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  It seems like the right plan for me at this time.  I’ll do a much more detailed post on the program and reveal my fundraising website and plan soon.

So many times I start things and don’t finish.  I don’t want that to be the case this year.  Three things.  School, work, run.  I’m on track.

Writing Mojo

Posted by sarah3030 in Grad School, growth, My story continues, relationships, running, work and tagged with ,

I have an essay final exam to finish, so I’m warming up my writing muscles.  What to write about…

It’s no secret I was feeling funky last week.  It didn’t exactly fade over the weekend either.

So here’s what I think.  It’s time to reassess some things.

I said 2012 was going to be about three things:

Grad School  I am overwhelmed by grad school still, but in a good way.  I really enjoy the course material.  I’m learning to deal with what will be non stop group work.  I’m trying to understand self directed learning and how to get what I need out of this model of one residency weekend a month and the rest of the program online.

Work  This I’ve got nailed.  It’s apparent I work on a fairly low expectations team.  I came in, I evaluated the 5 week training program, I made several recommendations for changes to the format and 95% of them are being implemented for the group starting today.  This is still a test, I need to see if the recommendations and changes are more effective based on feedback from the participants.  If all goes well, the hard part of my job is over for the foreseeable future.  Run this program.  I don’t have a lot of control over how other aspects of the training department run, and maybe that’s okay. School takes up so much time and I’d like to have a robust personal life, especially with spring and summer fairs and festivals coming up.

Running  Time for reassessing.  I feel pressure to run.  I feel like it’s something I want, but I’m still mentally holding myself back.  I want to put running on the back burner for a while.  Not exercise, just running.  I want to go back to Zumba.  I want to do these strength programs I found in Shape and Women’s Health magazine.  I want to do things I enjoy.  My confidence is pretty shaky these days.  Perhaps it’s being shaken by grad school, opening up to Gentleman Friend, events of last year, or just not loving what I see when I look in a mirror.  I’m the only person who can fix this.  And I want to do it by feeling sexy and having fun.  Zumba always made me feel that way.  I still want to run.  I just want to feel better about it when I do it.  I’m avoiding exercise in general because I’m dreading the act.

Must go write essay.  If I finish in a timely fashion I’ll be back to tell you about my calling… I found it.  Stay tuned…

A year from now…

Posted by sarah3030 in Cat, food, Groceries, My story continues, Oliver, running, work and tagged with , , ,

The Disney Princess half marathon is this weekend at Disney World.  My goal is to run it next year.  Considering my December 5K time and February 5K time were about the same, I should probably start thinking about adding time or mileage or speed.  A year from now I’ll have a blue tutu and a running skirt and I’m thinking some white “arm warmers“.

A year from now…

What else will happen in that year?  In this last year I lost a job, started a job, ended a relationship, forgave an ex husband, went to London and Paris, found a great therapist, decided to go to grad school and was accepted, made two trips to NYC, threw a rockin’ baby shower…

It’s been so easy to look back and think I didn’t do anything of substance, but this past year was a big one.  This one to come will be too.  And it will culminate with me in running 13.1 miles through a castle wearing a sparkly headband.

Writing that paragraph above makes me think about what trips I want to take next.  I am going to NYC again in April to see Newsies on Broadway.  Will there be a big trip?  Several small ones?  I’m determined to see one new place a year from now on.  Whether that is Seattle or Spain, I do not know.

Let me bring things to a more local level.  Enough with the big plans.

Working in a grocery store makes me hungry all the time.  What I’m making for dinner, or could be having for breakfast, or ingredients I should have on hand is all I can think about.

I bought the cats an automatic cat food feeder.  My schedule varies so much now and traveling to school once a month and an occasional work trip stressed me out.  I am amazed by people who can feed multiple children and still get themselves out of the house in a timely fashion.  There are days I’ll be ready to go and then remember I have to feed the cats!  Oh my gosh!  That’s a 20 second task that will somehow always be the reason I’m late.  Also, I really wanted Oliver to stop bothering me at 6am.  I have it set to dispense food at 6am and 6pm.  The funniest thing that happens in this apartment (this week anyway) is Oliver sprinting for the feeder when he hears the food drop.  That cat is a good eater.

I finally read the Walt Disney biography (by Neal Gabler) that I got for Christmas or a birthday or something years ago.  I used it as a leadership book assignment (I don’t think you’re supposed to call them book reports in grad school, but it’s a book report).  Technically, I didn’t read it.  I bought the audio book to listen to in my car.  I have a half hour commute each way minimum each day.  That’s an hour a day of reading.  Good thing to.  The book is 26 discs, totaling 38 hours of listening time.  But it’s really magical to read.  It took 5 years to make Snow White!  It was truly revolutionary in the animation world.  Don’t get me started on how amazing Disneyland was and how Walt was so involved in every detail and how he wanted it to be so nice for families.

This weekend is grad school weekend.  I think I’m going to the BG hockey game Saturday night up there.  Hockey must be a big deal there.  The class is going.  Sometimes I have to force myself to do social things.  This might be a good networking opportunity.  MBA faculty and students will also be there.

And after all, who knows where I’ll be in a year and who I might need to know…