Category Archives: growth

Grad School May edition

Posted by sarah3030 in friends, Grad School, growth, Happy, running

New semester.  New professor.  New self awareness (although not as much self awareness as last semester, for which I’m grateful.  I didn’t sign up for grad school for all the hippy dippy stuff). New memories made with some of my favorite classmates. 

Dr. McFillen is the new professor and he is much more my style than last semester’s teacher.  He did a lot of lecturing (which wasn’t for everyone) and used relevant videos to support the theories presented.  We talked about organization structure and strategy, focused on the global environment and used manufacturing and the auto industry as most of our themes.  We watched a PBS program called America Revealed on manufacturing in America. 

Editor’s Note: Public opinion would have you believe you don’t make anything in the US any longer.  Check out the program America Revealed at PBS.org and find the episode about manufacturing.  We make quite a bit.  End note.

All the talk about manufacturing and global economies led to a minor crisis of conscience.  The world produces a lot of crap.  Walk into any dollar store and look at all of the nonsense that is being peddled.  Sigh.  The resources used to produce that and the energy wasted and the money spent…I understand people need jobs, but could we find a way to create better service or agriculture jobs with that money and energy?  And then I think about all the junk in my house and I just want to have the most incredible purge.  Where and how to begin getting rid of all the little nonsense stuff in my house?!  And then to stop putting money into the junk.  Money should go into education, food, and experiences.  For me, anyway.  Just my thoughts.  I don’t think I want to be an active part of an overacheiving/overproducing/overconsuming society.  Ok.  {urgh. climbing off soapbox.}

Other highlights of the weekend include:

  • A little professor crush on Dr. McFillen is the source of much delight to my cohorts.  It all started with my professor crush on Gary Loveman, who is the CEO of Caesar’s Entertainment.  My group got a kick out of the fact that I love him.  When they finally saw a photo of him, they were surprised at the dowdiness of him.  I don’t care – he’s smart and has a sharp sense of humor.  Dr. McFillen is not an attractive man.  But he was funny!  And he lectured!  And he giggled at his own stories! 
  • I want to use the word derivative more.  I think it sounds like I know what I’m talking about. 
  • I don’t think I know what the word miopic means.  Must look up. 
  • A little positive male attention never hurts anyone.  Nothing inappropriate, but one of my male classmates was asking Amber about our run and he followed up by asking me about the running I’ve done in general.  He told me I looked great – that it was clear I was getting healthier.  Big high five to this guy.  The scale and I have been mad at each other – as the numbers are not moving the way I’d like them to.  But I can tell my body is changing in some ways.  I think there was a whole package of changes he may have been noticing.  I straightened my hair, I’m starting to open up more around everyone and have fun and I had a cute sundress on for class Saturday.  To add icing to the cake (or whipped cream to the sundae, whichever you prefer) another classmate commented on my divorce saying, "any guy who leaves Sarah is an idiot."  Awwww.   I mean, it’s not entirely true, I’m all fun and games until you’re in a relationship with me, but that didn’t matter here.  All that mattered here is that there are people who see me how I am trying harder to be seen.  Win.
  • New semester stuff.  We have two classes a semester and there is a divide in the middle where we officially switch.  This semester, 2nd class professor came in to tell us not to wait until mid semester to start working on his stuff.  He’s kind of a spazzy guy who creates a lot of anxiety, only to so far have been proven very disorganized.  We shall see.

So, that’s the highlights.  Lots of good learning.  Lots of "norming" with the cohorts.  Lots of delayed flights coming home.  It was a great weekend.  Now, to get started on the mountain of work!Tags: , , , ,

Emotions. Feel them. Do not eat them.

Posted by sarah3030 in food, friends, Grad School, growth, heavy, running and tagged with , , , ,

Drinking them, that’s okay, though.

It’s a grad school weekend.  They’re always a little intense, in a good way.  We’re fitting 4 weeks of classes into 3 days, weeks of class bonding and team projects into a short time and then there’s the letting loose and the blowing off the steam.

Tonight’s post is short.  Mostly because I’m just a tad bit tipsy and a lot tired from a long night.

Some of my EMOD colleagues.

I’ve been keeping a list of things I want to brain dump after the weekend.  For tonight I simply want to say:

I ran this morning – keeping up with that even though I’m at school.  Whoo!!

Amber and I after our run. She was so kind to get up early with me.

I had dinner with one of my dearest friends from Harrah’s days.  It’s so fortunate for me that she is here and I can see her semi-regularly.

I decided, after much deliberation, to meet some classmates for drinks after dinner.  I thought they would be done by 7:30 and a few of us were going to get together to do homework.  That didn’t happen.  They were still at the bar.  Sometimes I don’t like seeing people socially because I think it will change my perception of them in a work/school environment.  I hedged my bets and went to meet them.  I’m glad to report that the professor who had joined them had already left by the time I got there.  I am not up for that socializing quite yet.  This particular professor makes me a little anxious right now.  Most of my favorite classmates were there, and I’m SO glad I joined them.  We laughed and laughed and got to know each other better and among the 7 of us there were at least that many conversations going on at any one time.  Drinks were had, I believe a round or two of shots were ordered, pictures were taken, backgrounds were shared, personal stories were relayed, insecurities revealed, dirty jokes were out there and there was more laughing.  I think attending humanized me with some of them.  We’ve been together 4 months now and our reputations are falling into place.  I’m thrilled to report mine is the smart, studious girl.  I think it’s because I reference a lot of books.  I like to read.  And I really want to do well in this program.  It was good they saw me as a little bit of fun tonight also.  I can hang with the drinking and dirty jokes and still be a smarty pants lady.

A few of us hung out in the hotel lobby for a while and kept chatting.  Conversation turned heavier.  Parents came up.  I missed my dad a ton during the conversation.  My very first reaction to being sad?  I should see who will deliver me a pizza!!  Seriously, it was immediate.  I clearly have a “girl who eats her feelings” problem.  I worked through it.  Stayed strong.  Distracted myself.  Did NOT order a pizza.  Am aware of how fast and furious the desire to feed my feelings came upon me.  Yikes.

Glad I resisted.  I want to feel stronger and in control.  Not like such a victim in my own life.  It was a step.  I was aware.  I fought back.

Now I’m off to bed.  One more intense day then a grad school weekend recap.

Goodnight.

Tubthumpin’

Posted by sarah3030 in My story continues, The job., growth, work, running and tagged with , , , , ,

“I get knocked down

But I get up again

You’re never going to keep me down”

I got some disappointing news today.  I had interviewed for a new position at my company several weeks ago.  It was a project manager position under the Director of Organization Development.  Could that be any more perfect?  Well, I didn’t get it.

I was sad.  I had been hopeful and optimistic.  It was such a great opportunity to move into the field I’m studying, have more of a mentor as a boss and, selfishly, get a more regular schedule.

I didn’t get much done at work after getting that news.  I was bummed.  I left work a half hour early.  I came home to run and shake it off.  And shake it off I am.

I treated myself – with flowers!  The gentlemen at Botanicals Design Studio were so kind when I told them I was looking for a bouquet to cheer me up.  They put together some colorful flowers and wished me a better week.

Pretty (and tall!) flowers

Then I went for a run.  I laced up the shoes and went to the park.  I tried not to focus on the running and focused instead of all the things I have to be grateful for instead.  I don’t want to get bitter and resentful.  So, I thought about the beautiful weather, the furry cats, the girlfriends you can talk dirty with and the friend you can tell everything to, the opportunities to help someone else out, still being employed and having the ability to focus more on school and running.

The universe is telling me I’m on the right track.  I got three emails from friends or colleagues thanking me for something or other.  I’m not so bad, after all!  I sent the most belated Christmas present ever to my friend Cyndi and she was so happy with it – yay!  I sent a recommendation/introduction email to a woman I used to work with on behalf of a former colleague who is interested in a position with her company and that friend was so grateful.  I also wrote a recommendation letter on LinkedIn for a woman who used to call on me when I was the training manager at the casino and she sent me a note of thanks.  It was nice to come home to those notes.  Put good in the world, get good back.

Also after my run, I was thirsty.  I opened my fridge, which was weird because I don’t keep a lot of beverages in my fridge.  I forgot I had some Coconut Water in there that I bought on a whim at the store last weekend.  Seemed like the perfect post run drink while I made dinner.  The package declares that it’s the ideal hydration beverage.  I took one sip and I made a face.  It was not good.  I took another.  It still wasn’t good.  This surprised me.  I love coconut.  I did not like this coconut water.

Sorry, Vita Coco. Not for me.

I’ll use the rest in my smoothies this week.  Perhaps that will help mask the taste of it.  I did make a smoothie dessert (sans coconut water tonight).  Tonight’s smoothie was a banana, almond milk, 2 T of peanut butter, 1 T of cocoa powder and a sprinkling of cocoa nibs.  Add ice and blend!  Super good!

And to top off my feel better night was the season finale of How I Met Your Mother!  There were two episodes tonight and wooooo!  SPOILERS AHEAD!

I love you, Ted Mosby!  I love the girl from the past who returned, I love the decision they made at the end and I can’t wait to see what happens.  I’m slightly confused by the image of Robin at the end.  I’m thrilled for Barney and Quinn, so I’ll be sad if that doesn’t work out.  But mostly, Ted Mosby, go get her!  And if it doesn’t work out – come and get me!

Seriously – don’t you remember how great they were! They were great together. So fun. I want this to work!

Self awareness is expensive

Posted by sarah3030 in Grad School, growth, heavy, My story continues, relationships and tagged with , ,

I had what you might call a breakthough moment at grad school this past weekend.  I feel it’s a lesson I knew rationally but had not internalized until having to face it and put words to it in front of my classmates.

I thought the lesson was as simple as I don’t feel I’ve learned something if I can’t show it on a test.  I was still frustrated by the professor and her approach to the class.  I wanted to explore the text book concepts and walk away more equipped to quote theory and apply models discussed within it. At the end of day 2 she made us take 15 minutes to go someplace by ourselves on campus and just reflect.  I couldn’t even do that well.  I ended up texting Gentleman Friend during this time.  I was talking about what I was thinking, but I’m bad at self reflection.  This is when I came up with I like to demonstrate mastery with a test.

This is not the breakthrough.  I thought it was.  It’s not.

I’m stubborn.  Also, not the breakthrough.  But for the first time I realized that my stubbornness is not always persistance.  I pride myself on being persistent.  I think that’s a good trait.  Turns out, the other side of that coin is stubborn.

After the 15 minute reflection/text a boy period is over we had to go back and do a verbal discussion board.  A classmate asked the professor if instead of us posting our essay like residency weekend wrap ups online to do them verbally in a peace circle.  I take a while to warm up.  I wasn’t quite ready to bear my soul.  I thought I’d keep it top line and talk about vision and asking the next question, which is some thing I admire in my classmate Doug.  He’s good at calmly asking the next question after I think a task is already completed.  Then the peace train begins and there’s opening up and there’s crying and sharing and oh dear.  I compromised.  I did not cry.  Quite frankly, I don’t think I had any thought that deep, but I did reveal a more personal level of awareness.  My peace circle monologue went like this:

We’ve talked a lot about emotional hijacking within the classroom during an activity that has made us frustrated.  I enter the classroom emotionally hijacked.  It’s no secret to anyone that has been sitting around me the last two residency weekends that what I wanted out of the class is not what you (looking at Jane the professor) are going to give me.  I wanted concepts and models from the book to become a more well spoken subject matter expert.  I got divorced a couple of years ago which is tragedy all it’s own, but I took part in some destructive hobbies during that time and I had a friend say to me, “Those activities are a distraction, not the solution.”  I’ll never forget that and I am applying it to what’s happening here now.  Wanting the ‘book learning’ so bad might be the distraction I want so I don’t have to focus on the self awarness/behavior profile/personality assessment malarkey that you want us to focus on.  I can’t take a test on that stuff.  Wanting to is the distraction, and I need to spend time understanding my values and who I am to be a better OD practitioner – that is the solution.”

I was feeling good.  I thought I had a real ray of light creep into my brain.  But I wasn’t done being self aware yet.  I said it even more eloquently, more concise and perhaps more drilled down to the core during our wrap up Sunday afternoon.

“It’s no surprise by now I’m the one who wanted to get the book stuff out of this class.  I’ve learned that sometimes I can be so focused on wanting X, and so mad and closed off when I don’t get it, that I can’t accept what the other person is offering – which could be the rest of the alphabet.”

This was the breakthrough.

I get mad when I don’t get what I want and how I want it.  Which makes me bratty.  I know.  I never thought of it that way.  I thought if people knew me and ‘got’ me they would know what to do for me and how to do it.  And this has created a void – what have I been missing that’s been put out there for me??

Immediately the story of how my ex husband proposed comes to mind.  I am a girl who likes special plans.  I like romance and I want to know there was thought and planning put into special occasions.  I always thought I’d have a grand gesture proposal.  Even if it was ring in the champagne flute at a favorite restaurant.  My ex husband proposed one evening after coming home from work on a random Thursday.  I had brought the mail into our bedroom and started reading some of it wearing my blouse and pearl necklace from work that day, but not my pants.  I had already taken those off and hung them up (or thrown them on a chair, which is far more likely).  I’m sitting on the bed, wearing boring white cotton underwear and a black shirt and chunky pearls when he starts rambling on about something.  And I catch on that it’s important after a minute.  And a minute later I think he’s bought me a watch because I told him that was a really special present my dad always got my mom and I would like one from him as a token of our relationship being very important to him one day.  And then a box much smaller than a watch box is produced and there’s a lovely diamond ring inside.

But I’m a brat.  And what I would come to remember most about this day is that there was no grand gesture.  That there was no sapphires on my ring like I wanted.  That I was wearing gross old white cotton underwear and reading the mail.  What I could never see until right now is that there was a man who couldn’t wait another minute to ask me to marry him.  That he didn’t need a big gesture because he loved me that was big enough.  I clung to being grumpy about my lack of special engagement for a long time.  What a silly, stupid girl I was.  I was being offered so much more in that moment and it could have been such a sweet tale.  I ruined it.  I can be so narrow minded.  I’m just so sorry about this now.

This was a life lesson kind of weekend.  It was the kind of lesson that will make me a better person going forward.  It’s the beginning of wisdom and a sliver of grace.  I just wonder what I missed because I was focused on something so small.  Here’s my promise to the universe: I’m ready to accept what comes my way.  Whatever it may be, and however ordinary it may seem.

Writing Mojo

Posted by sarah3030 in Grad School, growth, My story continues, relationships, running, work and tagged with ,

I have an essay final exam to finish, so I’m warming up my writing muscles.  What to write about…

It’s no secret I was feeling funky last week.  It didn’t exactly fade over the weekend either.

So here’s what I think.  It’s time to reassess some things.

I said 2012 was going to be about three things:

Grad School  I am overwhelmed by grad school still, but in a good way.  I really enjoy the course material.  I’m learning to deal with what will be non stop group work.  I’m trying to understand self directed learning and how to get what I need out of this model of one residency weekend a month and the rest of the program online.

Work  This I’ve got nailed.  It’s apparent I work on a fairly low expectations team.  I came in, I evaluated the 5 week training program, I made several recommendations for changes to the format and 95% of them are being implemented for the group starting today.  This is still a test, I need to see if the recommendations and changes are more effective based on feedback from the participants.  If all goes well, the hard part of my job is over for the foreseeable future.  Run this program.  I don’t have a lot of control over how other aspects of the training department run, and maybe that’s okay. School takes up so much time and I’d like to have a robust personal life, especially with spring and summer fairs and festivals coming up.

Running  Time for reassessing.  I feel pressure to run.  I feel like it’s something I want, but I’m still mentally holding myself back.  I want to put running on the back burner for a while.  Not exercise, just running.  I want to go back to Zumba.  I want to do these strength programs I found in Shape and Women’s Health magazine.  I want to do things I enjoy.  My confidence is pretty shaky these days.  Perhaps it’s being shaken by grad school, opening up to Gentleman Friend, events of last year, or just not loving what I see when I look in a mirror.  I’m the only person who can fix this.  And I want to do it by feeling sexy and having fun.  Zumba always made me feel that way.  I still want to run.  I just want to feel better about it when I do it.  I’m avoiding exercise in general because I’m dreading the act.

Must go write essay.  If I finish in a timely fashion I’ll be back to tell you about my calling… I found it.  Stay tuned…

Good Grief

Posted by sarah3030 in family, friends, growth, heavy, My story continues and tagged with , , , ,

Today is my dad’s birthday.  He would have been 62 years old.  I wrote about him a couple of years ago on this blog.  The thing I’m sad about the most is that he never got to know me as an adult.  I have 3 siblings.  I was not a daddy’s girl growing up.  My dad wasn’t a daddy’s girl type of dad.  My sister Emilie was the clear favorite, and that’s okay.  My father owned an asphalt paving construction company and Emilie was always willing to go do dump truck chores with dad.  I would rather read a book.  Or do homework.  Or create family newsletters on the typewriter.  My dad was funny.  As a kid I didn’t always understand it – he was really sarcastic and I was the most sensitive child.  I couldn’t take a teasing, my dad told me that often.  He and I would have done better as adults.  He died 6 months after I graduated college.  I can remember talking to him about which job offer to take – he liked that I went to work for Harrah’s because it was a bigger company and would have more opportunities and would be a safer choice.  I remember coming home later after a night out with friends and he was still awake sitting in his rocking chair in the pitch black living room.  He startled me by saying hello and then telling me we should have a glass of wine that someone brought us.  In my life I had never seen my dad drink anything but Busch Beer out of cans.  ”Blue Bottle Riesling” is the first wine I remember drinking and it started that night.  I’m sad he didn’t know my husband and sad he wasn’t there to put my marriage ending in perspective.  It was in fact his voice I finally heard in my head that made me realize ending my marriage wasn’t the end of the world.  I could hear him saying, “Oh Sarah, stop crying about it.  Do something about it.”  My dad would love that I work for Save-A-Lot grocery stores.  It’s a humble company and he always thought I was a little stuck up.  He’d be glad I’m doing well.  He would think I shop too much, like my mother.

He never even got to know me.  Just the silly high school me.  The over-sensitive cry baby middle schooler who couldn’t take a joke.  He doesn’t know that I’m successful and I have cats and I love Zumba and lived in Louisiana and finally took sewing lessons from my Grandma and make the greatest chocolate chip cookies and that I’m in grad school and that I traveled a lot for work and that I battled unemployment by washing dishes at cooking school and I live in the city.

He would love that I’m going to see Newsies on Broadway in a couple of weeks.  He loved the soundtrack to Newsies.  Friday nights were dad’s night to drink with his co-workers after work and he would come home and shuffle/dance around the kitchen to the songs.  He also loved the Disney Tarzan soundtrack.  And he loved Cat Stevens, only later he claimed that he didn’t.  That’s a longer story.

This has been a hard Brad week as well.  It started this past weekend.  I pulled out my Ally McBeal dvd’s to watch while cleaning my room last Saturday and was suddenly overwhelmed with loss.  Brad had bought me the Ally McBeal box set.  He was everywhere in that minute. It’s ridiculous, I can remember every piece of clothing I ever wore with him, every meal, every bottle of wine.  I was suddenly longing for movies he and I watched together (Elizabeth and When Harry Met Sally) and restaurants in Chicago we went to (Chicken Hut – strange, but true).  I was swept up in memories of his apartment, what it smelled like (his Snake Peel Axe body wash and cologne – the commercials are true – it’s a sexy smell) and what it looked like in the evening with his solar candle jar on the patio and the glow of all of his electronics lighting up his small living room.  I remember what it sounded like as Lake Shore Drive rushed past below and Lake Michigan lapped at the beach just beyond that.  It was always cool with the balcony door open.  I miss watching movie previews from Apple TV and bad television shows on BBC America on Saturday mornings (there was that was kind of like Hoarders only worse).   I miss the wine store and making dinner and this funny way he picked up utensils (he had a flourish – it was very showy) and the fact that he let me fall asleep on top of him cuddled on the couch under this dark red blanket.

I’m caught up in these waves of grief this week.  I miss my dad.  I miss Brad.

It’s okay to grieve.  It’s not crippling me.  It’s the right thing to remember them.  And miss them.  I feel their loss tonight.

Nothing is forever friends.  Seize the Day.  It’s what the Newsies would have done.

(100 bonus points if you get that.)  :)

 

I will not let _____ get the best of me.

Posted by sarah3030 in growth and tagged with , , ,

Take your pick…

I will not let FEBRUARY get the best of me.  It was the first full month of grad school, new job, the little bit of social life I have with Gentleman Friend and finding time for a run or two.  Wow, I’m a bad time manager.  I know that there is enough time in the day, I need to get better at using it wisely.

I will not let GROUP PROJECTS get the best of me.  They are not going away.  I have 17 more months of grad school group projects.  Rather than get frustrated with them, I need to figure out how to work more effectively.  The biggest takeaway from this month was a better use of available technology.  Also learned: create timelines up front and routine live check ins either on the phone, Skype, web, etc…  I need to learn to work within the parameters.

I will not let TSA get the best of me.  I fly to Toledo, Ohio once a month for grad school weekends.  The St. Louis airport has 4 security lanes.  One of them has the scanner you stand in and it swirls around you, the other three are regular walk through lanes.  The scanner lane takes 4x as long to get through!  I will not be caught in that trap again.


I will not let GOOGLE MAPS get the best of me.  In both my January and February trips to Ohio I actually flew to Detroit and drive down to Bowling Green for school.  Each time I’ve made the drive Google Maps has encouraged me to take a slight right on 23 N/ 475 N.  Each time this has been wrong.  I see my little blue dot veering off the course of the blue line I’m supposed to be in.  Next time, Google Maps, I’ll stay on 75 S thank you, very much!

Treats

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, random and tagged with , ,

Let’s talk about cereal.  Lucky Charms is my favorite.  I buy a box, maybe once a year and eat it in two days.  Most of the time, I buy grown up cereal.  Something with large amounts of fiber.  Currently I’m eating All Bran.  Very responsible.  I’m walking through the grocery story and I see a new variety of Cheerios, Dulce de Leche.  Cheerios have gotten fancy.   I decide that a bowl of cereal that is half fiber flakes and half caramel Cheerios would be excellent!  (Note: It wasn’t until I got in my car and was driving home that I remembered my ex-husband used to mix cereal all the time and I always thought it was weird.  His preferred mix was Raisin Bran and Honey Nut Cheerios.)

Excellent combo!

I was right!  It was delicious.  Me and my addictive personality have had three bowls of this since Thursday night.  It was dinner Friday night and breakfast and lunch today.  At least it’s given me a pause from the hummus and pita chips that I’m most recently addicted to.

Try it out!

And for a bigger treat…

I wrote about Valentine’s Day yesterday and how it’s a great time for a special treat from someone you love.  Well, I’m a big fan of me.  So, I bought myself a treat with a capital T.

T for Tiffany

That’s right.  I have wanted the little silver ball earrings for years.  Now that I’m confident this job isn’t going away, I’ve got a few paychecks under my belt and I can feel my feet again, I bought myself a Valentine’s Day/New Job present.

Blue box. White bow. Perfection.

It just makes me happy.  I didn’t even open it right away when I got home.  I left them in their pretty, perfectly tied, and very classy box.  This is the value of a brand – when you won’t even untie the bow because you’ll never be able to tie it back the way it was and you don’t want to ruin it right away.  Power of the brand.

Simple. Elegant. Everyday.

There it is.  Happy Valentine’s Day/New Job to me.  I feel elegant and grown up in them.  I love that I’m starting to look more outwardly put together, and even feeling inwardly put together.  I suppose I could have summed that up with I’m feeling more put together in general.  And it’s nice.

The New Year is here

Posted by sarah3030 in blogging, friends, growth, running, Sarah, The job. and tagged with , , ,

I don’t have any resolutions to share.

I am proud of myself for not waiting for this new year to put into place the things I wanted to happen.  I applied and was accepted to grad school when I had no idea how I was going to pay for it.  But thousands of people figure out how to pay for it, right?  I knew I would too.  I didn’t wait for this year to start to begin my longest half marathon training process ever, I ran my first 5K a couple of weeks ago.  I didn’t sit around and collect unemployment and wait for a job to fall in my lap.  I took on my random part time jobs where I met new people, learned new things and got out of the house, even though the combined total from those two part time jobs was never more than an unemployment check was.  My friend Claire likes to point out that I was essentially volunteering during this time because I still got partial unemployment during that time.

I have a “word” for 2012.  It’s FOCUS.  I have three big undertakings in 2012, things I began in 2011 and are only going to get more intense:

  1. Disney Princess half marathon training for Feb ’13  (I know – longest training process ever.  I know.)
  2. New job.  As a corporate trainer that has just moved to an entirely new industry (casinos to groceries) I know there is much to learn on top of a very rigorous training schedule.
  3. Grad school.  So much reading!  I’ve always been smart, but I’ve never been an exceptional student.  Creating good study habits is going to be a challenge.

Making time for all of these things in addition to life getting in the way is going to be my challenge.  Therefore, I choose to FOCUS this year.  So, instead of creating a list of lofty goals and books to read and instruments to tackle – I’ll FOCUS on these and see what else happens.

This new year snuck in.  I’ve been sicker this week than I can remember being in a long time.  I’m fortunate to never have sinus or allergy issues.  I’m experiencing my first sinus infection and it is wiping me out.  From a couple of days before New Years Eve until last night I was pretty much bed bound.  I had a few friends over for New Years Eve, but even they were out by 10pm.  I was even driven to purchase and experiment with a Neti Pot for the first time.  I have a few friends who swear by them and I will admit I felt relief after using it.  Also glad I live alone while using it.  Least sexy thing ever, I imagine.

Happy New Year to all of you.  I’m excited to enter this year with intent and purpose.  And a place to share it all.

Little luxuries

Posted by sarah3030 in Christmas, Favorites, growth, Hair, My story continues and tagged with , ,

You know how I like to blog immediately after popping a sleeping pill, right?  Here goes…

I can’t stop smiling yet about the news of getting this job.  I was moving into the 4th month of being without a job and it was really starting to stress me out.  I was questioning every decision – is now really the time to go to grad school, what have I really done with my time off, so many things swirling around in my head.  On this particular morning I found myself wide awake at 3:10am.  Most of the time I have my “Secret” attitude that it’s all going to work out.  Somehow I’ve had enough to pay bills, make ends meet, and occasionally buy a $1 coffee from downstairs.  At 4am though, things are real and scary.  At 4am, at the insistence of a good friend, I had to say out loud what was freaking me out and make a plan.  Most of the plan just included going back to sleep.  12 hours later I got really great news.

And while unemployment will teach you a thing or two about what you can and cannot live without – here are some things I’d like to look forward to in the new year…

A pedicure.  One of the first things to go was the once a month pedicure and at a time when I picked up running as a hobby – they look rough.

A trim.  My hair is growing out, which is good, but it’s growing out a little funky in this one spot on the side and I really need it trimmed up.  Not enough to pay my girl, and not enough to settle for Great Clips.  It’s long enough for a ponytail – that was my low budget solution.

A headboard.  I know that sounds silly, and sure, it’s not a necessity, but I really want a headboard and footboard for my bed.  I’m 32 and I think it’s time for a more grown up look.  I don’t want an entire bedroom set – just a headboard.  And I’m not above resale shops or Craigslist for this – I’ve just put it off altogether.

New running shoes!  My New Balance ones are almost 3 years old, and while I’ve not been much of a runner, they are the shoes I’ve been walking around in for 3 years.  I bought a pair of Saucony running shoes about a year ago, but got them on a super clearance at a department store and settled with them being a half size too small.  Paying for that now.  I want real running shoes from a real running shoe store.  I want someone to watch me run and guide me to the right pair.

A new case for the iphone.  I’ve just burned through my 2nd one.  Not bad for 4 years.  I happen to know my sister is getting me this super awesome day planner from Erin Condren for Christmas.  (I know this because she asked what I wanted and I told her.)  They make matching iphone cases!!  How cute and organized and put together will I be?!  I’m not sure if I know exactly what design Em is getting me (I gave her a couple of options).  Once I know I’ll order the new case.  And then I will be adorable and unstoppable!

There you have it.  Not too out of line, right?

Good night, friends.  Dream of your own little luxuries.