Category Archives: growth

Treats

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, random and tagged with , ,

Let’s talk about cereal.  Lucky Charms is my favorite.  I buy a box, maybe once a year and eat it in two days.  Most of the time, I buy grown up cereal.  Something with large amounts of fiber.  Currently I’m eating All Bran.  Very responsible.  I’m walking through the grocery story and I see a new variety of Cheerios, Dulce de Leche.  Cheerios have gotten fancy.   I decide that a bowl of cereal that is half fiber flakes and half caramel Cheerios would be excellent!  (Note: It wasn’t until I got in my car and was driving home that I remembered my ex-husband used to mix cereal all the time and I always thought it was weird.  His preferred mix was Raisin Bran and Honey Nut Cheerios.)

Excellent combo!

I was right!  It was delicious.  Me and my addictive personality have had three bowls of this since Thursday night.  It was dinner Friday night and breakfast and lunch today.  At least it’s given me a pause from the hummus and pita chips that I’m most recently addicted to.

Try it out!

And for a bigger treat…

I wrote about Valentine’s Day yesterday and how it’s a great time for a special treat from someone you love.  Well, I’m a big fan of me.  So, I bought myself a treat with a capital T.

T for Tiffany

That’s right.  I have wanted the little silver ball earrings for years.  Now that I’m confident this job isn’t going away, I’ve got a few paychecks under my belt and I can feel my feet again, I bought myself a Valentine’s Day/New Job present.

Blue box. White bow. Perfection.

It just makes me happy.  I didn’t even open it right away when I got home.  I left them in their pretty, perfectly tied, and very classy box.  This is the value of a brand – when you won’t even untie the bow because you’ll never be able to tie it back the way it was and you don’t want to ruin it right away.  Power of the brand.

Simple. Elegant. Everyday.

There it is.  Happy Valentine’s Day/New Job to me.  I feel elegant and grown up in them.  I love that I’m starting to look more outwardly put together, and even feeling inwardly put together.  I suppose I could have summed that up with I’m feeling more put together in general.  And it’s nice.

The New Year is here

Posted by sarah3030 in blogging, friends, growth, running, Sarah, The job. and tagged with , , ,

I don’t have any resolutions to share.

I am proud of myself for not waiting for this new year to put into place the things I wanted to happen.  I applied and was accepted to grad school when I had no idea how I was going to pay for it.  But thousands of people figure out how to pay for it, right?  I knew I would too.  I didn’t wait for this year to start to begin my longest half marathon training process ever, I ran my first 5K a couple of weeks ago.  I didn’t sit around and collect unemployment and wait for a job to fall in my lap.  I took on my random part time jobs where I met new people, learned new things and got out of the house, even though the combined total from those two part time jobs was never more than an unemployment check was.  My friend Claire likes to point out that I was essentially volunteering during this time because I still got partial unemployment during that time.

I have a “word” for 2012.  It’s FOCUS.  I have three big undertakings in 2012, things I began in 2011 and are only going to get more intense:

  1. Disney Princess half marathon training for Feb ’13  (I know – longest training process ever.  I know.)
  2. New job.  As a corporate trainer that has just moved to an entirely new industry (casinos to groceries) I know there is much to learn on top of a very rigorous training schedule.
  3. Grad school.  So much reading!  I’ve always been smart, but I’ve never been an exceptional student.  Creating good study habits is going to be a challenge.

Making time for all of these things in addition to life getting in the way is going to be my challenge.  Therefore, I choose to FOCUS this year.  So, instead of creating a list of lofty goals and books to read and instruments to tackle – I’ll FOCUS on these and see what else happens.

This new year snuck in.  I’ve been sicker this week than I can remember being in a long time.  I’m fortunate to never have sinus or allergy issues.  I’m experiencing my first sinus infection and it is wiping me out.  From a couple of days before New Years Eve until last night I was pretty much bed bound.  I had a few friends over for New Years Eve, but even they were out by 10pm.  I was even driven to purchase and experiment with a Neti Pot for the first time.  I have a few friends who swear by them and I will admit I felt relief after using it.  Also glad I live alone while using it.  Least sexy thing ever, I imagine.

Happy New Year to all of you.  I’m excited to enter this year with intent and purpose.  And a place to share it all.

Little luxuries

Posted by sarah3030 in Christmas, Favorites, growth, Hair, My story continues and tagged with , ,

You know how I like to blog immediately after popping a sleeping pill, right?  Here goes…

I can’t stop smiling yet about the news of getting this job.  I was moving into the 4th month of being without a job and it was really starting to stress me out.  I was questioning every decision – is now really the time to go to grad school, what have I really done with my time off, so many things swirling around in my head.  On this particular morning I found myself wide awake at 3:10am.  Most of the time I have my “Secret” attitude that it’s all going to work out.  Somehow I’ve had enough to pay bills, make ends meet, and occasionally buy a $1 coffee from downstairs.  At 4am though, things are real and scary.  At 4am, at the insistence of a good friend, I had to say out loud what was freaking me out and make a plan.  Most of the plan just included going back to sleep.  12 hours later I got really great news.

And while unemployment will teach you a thing or two about what you can and cannot live without – here are some things I’d like to look forward to in the new year…

A pedicure.  One of the first things to go was the once a month pedicure and at a time when I picked up running as a hobby – they look rough.

A trim.  My hair is growing out, which is good, but it’s growing out a little funky in this one spot on the side and I really need it trimmed up.  Not enough to pay my girl, and not enough to settle for Great Clips.  It’s long enough for a ponytail – that was my low budget solution.

A headboard.  I know that sounds silly, and sure, it’s not a necessity, but I really want a headboard and footboard for my bed.  I’m 32 and I think it’s time for a more grown up look.  I don’t want an entire bedroom set – just a headboard.  And I’m not above resale shops or Craigslist for this – I’ve just put it off altogether.

New running shoes!  My New Balance ones are almost 3 years old, and while I’ve not been much of a runner, they are the shoes I’ve been walking around in for 3 years.  I bought a pair of Saucony running shoes about a year ago, but got them on a super clearance at a department store and settled with them being a half size too small.  Paying for that now.  I want real running shoes from a real running shoe store.  I want someone to watch me run and guide me to the right pair.

A new case for the iphone.  I’ve just burned through my 2nd one.  Not bad for 4 years.  I happen to know my sister is getting me this super awesome day planner from Erin Condren for Christmas.  (I know this because she asked what I wanted and I told her.)  They make matching iphone cases!!  How cute and organized and put together will I be?!  I’m not sure if I know exactly what design Em is getting me (I gave her a couple of options).  Once I know I’ll order the new case.  And then I will be adorable and unstoppable!

There you have it.  Not too out of line, right?

Good night, friends.  Dream of your own little luxuries.

I accept this position!

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, My story continues, work

I accept this training & development position at the corporate office of a major grocery store chain.

I’d like to thank the following people…

Claire, for being there every second – from the moment I lost my job to the moment I got this one.  Claire, and even her husband sometimes, were there to listen, give advice, dry run my interviews, go for walks, meet me for lunch, promote my self esteem, and mostly, validate every feeling I’ve had for the last 4 months.  I would not have been able to do this without her.

My cousin Anna for sending me this job opening.  There may be some family members that don’t want their relatives that close, but Anna saw the job, thought of me and supported me at every interview, giving me background information on the company that proved very useful in conversations with various employees.

My family for calling me to check in, even when I didn’t always call back because I didn’t have much to say.  Especially in the wake of the news of Brad’s death, it’s important to have the people who will keep calling you.

To Zumba instructors Jen and Erin who always made me feel strong and sexy for an hour, when I really felt sad and gross.

My friend Brian for bringing me on to work at his company without a second thought and insisting I was the one doing him the favor.  And to Janice, who was an acquaintance who vouched for me and introduced me to the position at the kitchen store/cooking classes.

To Alex who let me ramble on about nothing when I called.  And Angela who insisted it was never an inconvenience to meet me for dinner, workouts or pedicures.  And Colin who texted me before going for walks to make sure I was getting out of the house.

To Meg who lived with me through the pain of being unemployed – literally.  She was the greatest roommate a girl could have had during that time.

To everyone who comments on this blog while I went through the ups and downs of all the emotions this time brought.  I’ve been through periods of unemployment before.  I was married and had a built in support system – financial, emotional, insurance-al – during those times.   There’s a lot to be said for going through this alone, and I never felt so alone when I wrote it all out here.

And always, I’d like to thank Netflix for keeping me occupied with Felicity, The Tudors and lots of movies.

I start my new position on January 3rd.  My Christmas wish came early.  I can enjoy this month and all the holiday loveliness it brings while knowing I don’t have to stress about finding a position.

I’ve been humbled by the last few months.  Knowing I’m expendable at my last job and coming to grips with life decisions I make, everything from how I spend money to whom I trust, will forever impact me.  I’m humble and appreciative and grateful.

Happy December 1.  May it be the beginning of the most magical holiday season – whatever you believe and wherever you are.

Sarah

 

Did I tell you about the time…

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, running, work it out and tagged with ,

…that I ran 20 consecutive minutes??  Oh, I didn’t?  Allow me.

I’ve been hesitant to post a lot about my running progress and goals here.  You know I have some issues ‘fessing up to things I may not finish.  I have started the Couch to 5K program no less than 5 times.  I always get scared at the end of Week 5.  That’s when you go from running two 8 minute stretches in a half an hour to one 20 minute stretch.  That has freaked me out every time.

With the Disney Princess 1/2 marathon as my goal, with the knowledge that I can probably run 20 straight minutes, and with the moral support from two of my Zumba acquaintances and an ex-husband (he’s become an odd running supporter.  I think it stems from watching the marathons together.  Or him knowing what kind of support I need from the old married days.  Whatever it is, he’s done a nice job of saying, “Of course you can do this and I’ll be on the treadmill next to you if you need me.”  Which I appreciate, but have never taken him up on.  If I do this, I have to conquer the mental game and achieve it for myself with only myself.  Anyway…) I totally ran 20 minutes this past Saturday.  Plus 10 seconds.  Just to say I really nailed it.  I gave myself the following pep talk, “Sarah – I would say good luck, but you don’t need luck.  You just need to keep moving.”  Genius, right?  But it worked.  Just keep moving.

People say running gets addicting.  That I’ll be hooked.  That it’s a way to clear my head, be alone with my thoughts, use it as time to day dream, etc.

That’s starting to happen.  I like it.  I’m actually in the middle of two Couch programs.  I am now on Week 6 of C25K, which I do on a treadmill at the Y so I can get pacing down.  I decided to download the C210K program and start working with that one outdoors.  I went back to Week 1 and am doing shorter, easier intervals without the distractions and timers and tvs and people all around.  I think it’s a good system.

I think I can get 13 miles down by the time I turn 33.  What do you think?  I have until September 30.  13 by 33.  I’m only adding about a mile a month, as I’ve got two miles down right now.  I think this might be the most well thought out plan I’ve had in a really long time.

Who knew wanting a running skirt would be such motivation?  (I’m totally scoping them out on Athleta.com and Nike.com.  This one has the cutest pleats!!  But this one is such a great color!)

Also, I’ve checked with my friend from grade school who makes super adorable tutu dresses and costumes for kids to see if she could whip something up for me when I run this bad boy of a half marathon.  She’s in.

Something like this - only shorter??

I love that it has those simple bustle designs on the side.  My biggest challenge will be deciding what princess to represent while running.  Belle is my favorite, but yellow is not my color.  Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) is my 2nd favorite and I look okay in pink.  Since I plan to wear a matching running tank/shirt with running capris/skirt with this over it, I need it to be something I look good in.  Because when you look good, you feel good.  I look good in purple, but that would be Ariel and I’d need a green mermaid tail-ish skirt.  Ice Blue/Cinderella may be my best bet.  Plus, I just LOVE those side bustles!

Okay – enough talking about my remarkable 20 minutes of consecutive running.  For today.  I think I’m going to stretch my new runner’s legs at a 5K in a few weeks.  Stay tuned…

 

 

 

Simple things

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, Happy, My story continues, Sarah, work it out and tagged with , , ,

If you’ve known me for even a minute, you may know that I go back and forth on wanting to be a runner.  It’s something I want to say about myself.  That I run.  It’s how I want to see a new city, to go for an early morning job.  I want one of those widgets on the side of my blog that tracks how many miles a week I run.  And after watching the marathon, I want to run for the accessories, like running skirts.

Here’s what my ultimate running goal is: The Disney Princess 1/2 marathon.  Yes.  I first heard about it just last year.  With the year this was, dedicating myself to training for it did not take priority.  But I want to do it.  I want to be a part of this experience.  I want the tiara shaped medal you get.  And just LOOK at this video…

Check out these fun outfits!!  Last night I was on the treadmill and the thought that got me through the workout was how to fashion a tiara to a headband that will keep my hair out of my face.  Hey, you have your motivation, I have mine.

I clearly won’t be ready for the 2012 race.  So, this is a 2013 goal.  Which is perfect in another way.  Disney World is adding and expanding the Fantasyland section of the Magic Kingdom and all updates should be done by then!  I see 1/2 marathon and Disney vacation in my (year away!) future.

More things making me happy right now – Newsies is coming to Broadway!  Newsies is a live action Disney musical about newsboys in 1899.  I have loved it since 8th grade.  It’s where my true love for Christian Bale began.  And it’s coming to Broadway!!  I’ve already contacted my East Coast friends – I’ll meet them there in April!

"Dis is for da Newsies!"

 

I love that butternut squash is in season.  I love that it’s so chilly at night and my cat Quinn is extra cuddly.  I love that it’s fall movie season and I have plenty of free time right now to see all the ones I want.  I love that my friend Claire told me it’s not that I have quit things in the past, it’s that I picked the wrong thing to begin with.  I love the song that plays on the Lowe’s commercial right now (Home..is where you are..you can come home to me..).

Mostly, though, I love that I can dress up like Tinkerbell to run a race….stay tuned for progress.  I feel good about this.

 

Stream of conscious + gin & tonic = the following

Posted by sarah3030 in Cat, Crazy., growth, heavy, My story continues, Sarah and tagged with , , ,

I have to be the best at weird things.  One of the part time jobs I’m working is a kitchen assistant.  I do a lot of dishes in this job. A lot of backing up the chef.  I have a strong desire to be the best and most requested back up.  I need them to like me and think I’m competent and awesome.  This is ironic because I’m not the best at it.  My own kitchen is so messy.  I also have to be the best at typing.  Even though I know I’m not ultimately the best typist in the world, I am the best typist of the people I know.  That’s enough for me right now.

This is what I look like right now.  I’m in bed.  I’m watching Say Yes to the Dress.  I have an orange tabby cat in my lap.  This particular orange tabby cat has figured out how to take his collar off and has done it no less than 4 times today.  Right now, I have no idea where the collar is.  I know where it isn’t – on his neck.  Oh, Oliver.

I have almost no follow through.  This is constantly on my mind.  I don’t finish anything.  I’m surprised I finished that last sentence.  The list of things I think are a good idea and then disregard is long and frightening.  What is wrong with my brain?  Or my willpower?  Or my dedication?  Or my conviction?  What is it?  Do I feel I’m not worth finishing?  Am I waiting for something?  Do I have a fear of disappointing myself?  Someone else?  Am I waiting for someone to finish things with me?

Along those lines, I’ve decided I have abandonment and trust issues.  From dad dying?  From boyfriends dumping me?  From husbands thinking I wasn’t worth sticking it out with?  From cats spurning the collars I gave them? Is this internal?  Isn’t it a classic syndrome – keep people at arms length so they can’t hurt you?  Didn’t Stephanie Tanner do that in an episode of Full House in 1989?

What is wrong with me?  How do I learn to embrace a goal and to see it to fruition?  I used to be unstoppable.  Lately I feel full of hot air.  I explode and I’m left with scraps around me.  I used to be unstoppable.

When will I put myself first?  I would go to extraordinary lengths to complete a task for someone else, to throw them the best party, or be there when they needed me.  Why won’t I be there for myself?

How do you make a plan for the day and stick to it?  How do I become more accountable to myself?  This is all I can think about lately, so here it is live and on the blog.  I’ve been scared to post new things I’m interested in just to not finish them, again & publicly.

I’m off to start a new book that will eventually sit on my nightstand with a bookmark 2/3 through it.  While I read I’m going to watch a movie that I will fall asleep during.  All the while abandoning a game of Scrabble I have half finished on my iphone.

Oh dear.

 

 

Parks & Recreation – this is your influence on me

Posted by sarah3030 in Favorites, growth, Happy, My story continues and tagged with ,

Since high school there is one piece of paper I have always been able to put my hands on.  And no, that document has not been birth certificates or a social security card, as it should be.  It’s the list of things I want to do before I died.  For the record, I don’t like the term “bucket list.”  I don’t know why, but I shall not be referring to this list as that.  And list-of-things-to-do-before-I-die is really long.  Heretofore, this shall just be known on this blog as The List.  Also not to be confused the My List, which is people I’m mad at, you know, “ooooh – the lady who hit and run my car – she’s on my list!”

Let’s move on.

Last week I’m watching Parks & Recreation, which I love, and there are April and Andy, whom I also love, trying to accomplish some things on Andy’s list.  He has some crazy things – race a rhino – and some completely doable things – fly first class and make the greatest grilled cheese sandwich.  I should add that one about first class to my list also.

This has prompted me to think about The List.  I took a picture of it.  It’s actually pretty embarrassing.  It is evident I was an over the top optimist who had a few too many Barbie commercials playing in her head in high school when I started this. (“We girls, can do anything, right, Barbie!)  I don’t think I’ll be accepting an Academy Award or figure skating with Scott Hamilton anytime soon, sorry, Barbie.  Although, now that I have The Secret mentality going for me….who knows.

Once again, I digress.

The List - handwritten

This piece of looseleaf paper is now about 16 years old.  Please note that it is front and back.  I added to it after college.  Exactly 8 things are crossed off.  Those things are: Visit Italy, drive in a convertible with the top down going very fast, be a waitress (at the time it symbolized a glamorous life of struggling in a big city on my way to making it big – and hey – it’s crossed of – don’t judge), live in Chicago, jog on the beach in the morning, see the sunset over the ocean with someone I love (I’ve always been a romantic!), swing dance with someone who knows how, jetski.

The thing that came to me during Parks & Recreation the other night is that I don’t need to have a job to do all of these.  They don’t all have to be expensive.  Or require health insurance.  April and Andy just went for it.  I can go for it.

Time for an update.  The List 2.0.  Things that will transfer from the original to the update are:

  • learn to play the violin
  • stay in a mountain lodge
  • go up in a hot air balloon
  • be invited to an inaugural ball (I’m keeping it on here.  There’s a chance.)
  • live in another country
  • read all 10 books on the best seller list
  • make a wish come true for someone through the Make a Wish foundation
  • give a speech that inspires at least one person
  • be a foster parent
  • hang glide
  • go rock climbing (mostly I just want to rappel back down the mountain)
  • see the Nevada/Arizona state line
  • visit the Grand Canyon
  • memorize two Shakespeare sonnets (I may amend this one to two poems in general)
  • make s’mores in a fireplace
  • publish a book
  • spontaneous road trip
For your own enjoyment, here are a couple that will NOT make The List 2.0.
  • Re-enact the title song scene from ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ – complete with a cop (yes, I wrote “complete with a cop”)
  • Ride a horse along the beach (a little cliche for older Sarah)
  • Fly in a bi-plane (don’t know what I was thinking)
Things I’ve done in the last few years that would have been on my list had I been updating it regularly:
  • Master apple pies
  • Make the greatest chocolate chip cookie ever
  • see Cowboy Mouth perform in New Orleans
  • go to grad school (work in progress)
  • drink a $100 bottle of wine
  • see Arcadia on Broadway
And now the fun part.  Adding the new things to The List 2.0.
  • Read Crime & Punishment
  • Eat at the French Laundry
  • Get Zumba certified
  • Visit Madrid, Spain and Montreal, Canada
  • Food & Wine festival at Epcot
  • snow skiing, as long as there is a lodge at the end of the day with whiskey.  (I could perhaps also knock off s’mores in the fireplace there!)
  • successfully  make caramel
Thanks Parks & Recreation for inspiring me.  Thanks Young Sarah for being a wild day dreamer and believing that you would be invited to an inaugural ball and present (and win) an Academy Award.  (Actually, those two would have gone hand in hand, they often get last year’s winner to be the next year’s presenter – I could have had a 2 in 1…).  Thanks to me for always holding on to the original version of this list.  This little piece of looseleaf has a lot of hope in it.
Off to find some You Tube lessons so I can learn to play the violin.

Moments like these

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, Happy, My story continues, random, The job. and tagged with , , ,

Part of trying to live with The Secret in mind is to spend a moment each day being grateful for what you have.  I’m so anxious to see what’s coming next, to end this period of unemployment, to have a job again, to find the next great relationship and now, to start my new master’s program, that I don’t always stop and appreciate what’s happening right now.  So, here’s a look at what I’m grateful for right now:

  • I get to meet awesome St. Louis chefs and be part of really cool cooking parties at one of my jobs.  Tonight, my favorite tapas restaurant’s chef was there as well as the director of a local chain of organic coffee shops were the Iron Chefs at a private party.  I got to watch them cook and create and be a part of that.  That’s cool.
  • I’m grateful for hot chocolate with pumpkin marshmallows.  Seriously delicious.
  • I’m so happy about this weather!  I love the chilly mornings and perfect afternoons.
  • What’s up with my Cardinals in the World Series?!  As I type we’re up in game 3 14 to 7!  Take that Texas.  Especially satisfying as I’ve never particularly liked Texas.
  • I’m grateful for new vegan blogs that are opening up new food options to me.
  • I’m so happy Parks and Recreation is available on Netflix so I can keep watching it on repeat.  Ben and Leslie just make me so happy!
  • This new lip stain from Sephora!  I got a sample of it and I’m loving it!  I don’t usually wear anything besides chap stick.  Color on my lips makes me feel like a grown up.
There you have it.  I don’t want to get to wrapped up in the stuff that’s making me crazy right now.  I’m grateful.

Grad School

Posted by sarah3030 in growth, Happy, My story continues, work and tagged with , ,

I was accepted to an Executive Master’s program!  I started the application process months ago, have rounded up a nomination, three letters or recommendation, my college transcripts and wrote an essay on my academic intentions.  Whew.  I can’t tell you the last time I wrote an essay.  It was easily the piece that was causing me the most anxiety.  I was concerned I was going to get a phone call saying that was the worst essay they had ever read.

My new school!

Oddly, my academic interest paper was centered around how I thought my undergrad education was kind of bogus.  I was fortunate to have great experiences during that time with internships and student organizations, but my actual course work was full of professors who hadn’t been in the field in 20 years, outdated information and assignments and narrow industry insight.  I wound up at Harrah’s which prioritized teaching and learning and succession planning at that time so was able to get amazing opportunities.  My goal with this master’s is to lead organizations in that direction – where they guide and educate their teams into productive careers.

I feel good about this.  I really didn’t know what to think about my chances of being accepted were.  I am so excited to get a Master’s degree.  I know that it will make a difference in career opportunities that I am offered.  And I’m ready to learn some new things.

It was nice to have something good happen to me today.  I had forgotten for a minute what that feels like.  I’m content and making it most of the time, but to have an honest to goodness good thing happen, that felt great.

Also, in the random category, this week went well without the tv on as I fell asleep.  I still play a movie or tv show on my Netflix app on my iphone, but the light and sound are much softer.  I just like the noise.  Falling asleep has been much easier in the darker room.  I should set a new weekly challenge…I’ve been trying to set a Zumba goal.  Do a Zumba workout 6 out of the next 7 days.  Can I do it?  Sure I can.  I’m a master’s student.