Zen moment: Slipping into your own bathrobe after getting out of your shower after being on the road since last Thursday. Ahhhhh.
Zen moment: Getting the most amazing massage of my life. The massage therapist told me she could feel my body wanting to get back to center.
Zen moment: Realizing just how clean my laptop screen is now and how much easier it is to see things on it after OOSMD cleaned it for me.
It’s the middle zen moment I’d like to focus on. I’ve been dealing with this sciatic thing that just won’t die and I thought seeing a good massage therapist might just be the thing I need. There is this very spiritual (read: hippie dippie) place near me and I made an appointment there. I had been before and I love when anyone will talk to me about my chakras. This appointment was awesome. I know it sounds a little flaky if you don’t buy into the mind/body/spirit connection (which I struggle with at times myself) but I could feel clarity as she was pressing certain parts or working out certain spots. I really tried to abandon thought and just be present and center myself, if you will. Which is why I just love what she said after wards, “I could feel your body trying to get back to center.”
That’s how I feel. Like I’m trying to get back to center. I wrote about feeling really out of whack in January and February here, and I can’t believe it’s the end of March. I know I feel better in March, probably largely in part to consistently taking the broken brain drugs. I still don’t feel together, right? I just feel like my schedule is running my life, and not like I’m running my schedule. This isn’t even an interesting or unique problem, I just want to feel like I have my life under control a little bit.
So, after getting home from a few travel days that seemed to have no end (St. Louis got 12 inches of snow – not a travel friendly event – but I’m told it was real pretty) I decided to get some control back straight away. I always seem to crave a really good workout the day after a grad school weekend. Tonight, while it would have been easier to come home and veg out, making the excuse that I had been up since 5am to get on various planes to get back home, and then spending all afternoon at work, etc I popped in this workout dvd, grabbed the weighted gloves and started kicking and punching things. And by things, I mean the air. AND THEN, I did something I’ve been putting off for months. (No, not my dishes my smarty pants friends who have seen my apartment and read this.) I popped in a guided meditation dvd that Claire gave me. And I spent some time meditating.
Yoga and meditation are always on my list of things To Do... The secret, “One Day I’ll….” to do list. We all have one. I’m forever saying “One day I’ll get to a yoga class…” I should go. Maybe it would help this sciatic thing. Here’s the thing – what if I was terrible at meditation? If I never try, I’d never know I’m bad at it. Ignorance is bliss. Let me explain.
For pretty much my entire life I wanted a unicycle. Was convinced that I had a natural ability to ride a unicycle. Why did I think this? Because I was really good at riding a bike with no hands as a kid. Seriously. I had all the confidence in the world that I would be a unicycle prodigy. All I needed to do was get on one. Then, a couple of years ago, Adam Science bought me a unicycle, in what was one of the coolest Christmas presents ever. I was then flooded with fear and self doubt. It was time to put up or shut up. I would have to get on the unicycle. I put it off forever. It was too cold, too rainy, too windy, we needed concrete – nah, we needed grass…. Until one day my sister and brother in law decided they kind of wanted to try it also so we adjusted the seat and tried it out. And guys, I am NOT a natural at the unicycle. (Although part of me really just thinks it was because I was wearing jeans. Who rides a unicycle in jeans? If I had some yoga pants on, I could totally ride the unicycle.)
I had a point. After a school weekend, I just wanted to get home and try to get to center. So, I meditated. And I wasn’t terrible at it. I got through it. It’s probably because I was wearing yoga pants.
Fun things from my camera this month:
I got the sweetest (literally) package from Kelli! My very talented and small business super woman friend owns a bakery in Little Rock, Arkansas and it is a testament to how much homework I’m doing that I have not spent a Saturday just making a road trip Little Rock, just to get some cupcakes. Seriously, follow the Sweet Love Bakery on Facebook and once you read the flavors and see the pictures she posts, you’ll want to go with me. These treats arrived at the perfect time! I was pressed for time and wasn’t planning on making much of a dessert for a dinner at my house. Everyone loved the choices they got for dessert instead. My sister was especially over the moon with the cake pops. You rule, Kelli.
I went on a tour of the plant where they make Purell. My favorite classmate works there and before grad school weekend I stopped in Akron, OH for a tour. I haven’t been in a lot of factories in my day, but it look a lot like I thought it would. You know, just like this:
Okay. It wasn’t quite like this. But it did have more people in it than I thought. Not as many robots. I’ve really only ever been on the AB Brewery tour which is almost all robots, so it was interesting to see production lines with people. It smells really good in a factory where they make soap. There are giant tanks of products. AND, I got this:
I watched this particular bottle go through the filler, the capper, the labeler and then just before it got boxed, my classmate grabbed it for me. I saw this bottle from start to finish on the assembly line! I wanted the workers on that line to autograph it, but I was told that was weird. What’s weird is how excited I am about this bottle of Purell. I don’t really use Purell, or hand sanitizer of any kind. I welcome germs. I wash my hands, I know about food safety, what are we anti-bacterialing ourselves from? I’m getting old enough where I say “When we were kids…” a lot more.* But seriously, I’ve lived a relatively healthy lifestyle so far without frequent application of the stuff. I will admit, seeing this bottle from infancy does create an emotional tie to it…we’ll see.
* Also with regards to people being a few minutes late (“We didn’t have cell phones when I was a kid!”), kids on vacation (“When I was a kid you had to talk to your siblings and look out the window, not play your handheld games!”) and responsibility in general (“When I was a kid there were consequences! We should feel remorse for making a bad decision!”)