I was at my sister and brother in law’s last week to watch The Biggest Loser. We were in her basement and Alex, my brother in law was kicking around a soccer ball. He said, “I love being an adult so I can play ball in the house.” Emilie, my sister, went on to explain to me that once they were playing catch upstairs and called his mom just to tell her that. It reminded me of all the things I do just because I’m an “adult” now and I can.
Oreos for dinner, cake for breakfast, ice cream after every meal (hmmm, a real sugar pattern), new shoes even if I don’t need them, a full day in bed, marathons of tv shows on dvd that last all weekend, dishes stacked in the sink for far longer than is okay, wearing the same ‘weekend uniform’ of sweat pants and my old college sweatshirt from Friday night to Monday morning,eating cereal in bed, consuming an entire bottle of wine by oneself.
I could go on…
I’m guilty of every item on that list, some more than others. And often I’ve said to myself, “I love being an adult because now I can ____.”
I’m trying to lose some of the weight I put on last year going through the tough parts. Today, I went to check in at fat camp (Weight Watchers) and I got my 15 lb sticker. Woo. I felt great. I felt motivated. I put away a months’ worth of laundry and did the dishes, took out the trash. Reorganized my dvd cabinet. Knew I was making a killer macaroni and cheese recipe for dinner and was looking forward to that. And then around 3pm, decided I wanted chocolate chip cookies. Tried to talk myself out of it. Didn’t work. I made the cookies. I ate a few spoonfuls of dough, which is really all I wanted, and then felt kind of sick. Didn’t know if I even wanted the mac and cheese anymore, which is something I had been looking forward to all week. I ruined my own special plans because I’m an ‘adult’ and I could.
I wrote myself a note and put it on the fridge. “Today you ate a bunch of cookies, and then felt awful. Remember that.” I’ve moved past where food made me feel better. Today, it just made me feel yucky.
Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should. Time to break some old habits.
But not the wine habit. Not yet.